Category Archives: Emotions

Psychic Flus and Sandpaintings

Hi Everyone, I had the opportunity this week to help a friend with the psychic flu.  She came down with cold symptoms at the same time my son did, however, her symptoms continued to spiral into a very bad flu.  … Continue reading

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Creativity and Expansion

I was talking to my mentor, Greta Holmes, yesterday about the discomfort I’ve been feeling around changing my practice.  As I’ve looked back on my life, I see that I go through these cycles of expansion as I move into … Continue reading

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Family System Reinforcement Essays

Hello Everyone!

I hope you enjoy the labor day weekend. Here in Portland we’re planning on enjoying a bbq on Sunday despite the rain in the forecast. I just love autumn!

This week I’ve published several new essays on my website around Family System Reinforcement. These essays follow one Empath through a Family System and show her path in healing from the typical Empath wounds of rejection and abandonment so she can form her own happy marriage and family. If you are an Empath, these essays are for you. If you are an emotionally dissociated Hero these essays may also be helpful in seeing how the Archetypes of Empath and Hero interact.

www.elainelajoie.com/EmpathyandRelationshipsBook.htm

The new essays are toward the bottom of the page under the heading, Family System Reinforcement.

Enjoy, and have a wonderful holiday weekend!

much love,

Elaine
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Posted in Boundaries, Client Success Stories, Drama Triangle, Emotional Dissociation, Emotions, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Forgiveness, Generational Imprints, Life Transition, Myth and Archetype, Relationships, Soul Path/Purpose, Soul Retrieval | Leave a comment

Dealing with Attack Energy

Hello everyone!

I had a question arrive in my email box about dealing with the unspoken messages from someone else. In this case, my client is receiving “attack” vibes. What do we do when those are unspoken vibes and not acted upon by the other person? This is an important question for Empaths because we tend to respond to the unspoken and the hidden rather than what is actually going on literally. Here is her question:

“I get a weird vibe from one of the girls at our annual gathering. It’s like she wants to attack me or I annoy her or it’s like she jealous and I get this feeling of her wanting to put me in my place. Anytime I’m being funny or entertaining I can feel her energy. At times like these it would be nice to be normal and just not notice it and go on with my life like the others around me! I was super aware of her energy and not sure how to handle it. My usual method would be to shrink back and shut down or to try to please her which feels awful and weak. So as I was trying to figure out how to handle this these options came to mind. Do I…

a. understand that she is just injured somewhere in this area and is acting out of pain and needs healing and understanding. Try to send her love, make her feel more comfortable and try to help her. (feel like I’ve been burned by this approach in the past) b. Put up the strongest boundaries I can muster and try my best to go on with my life ignoring her. (this doesn’t really work for me) c. Think “oh this is interesting Sally is having these feelings hmm. I wonder what is going on with her?” and then let the energy go through me so to speak understanding that this is her stuff I DON’T have to own it and it doesn’t have to have power over me. Just let it be and bring the focus back on myself my body, what I’m seeing around me, what I’m feeling sensing etc. (This seemed to work pretty good!)

I do know the more I was afraid of her reaction the worse things seemed to get. The fear fueled it so to speak. Honestly acknowledging to myself, however, what I was sensing from her and then not taking responsibility for it and not giving these feelings power over me seemed to work well.”

OK, to answer this question, it’s helpful to look at it from the Drama Triangle perspective. Option a. operates from the Role of Rescuer. This person’s anger and annoyance isn’t really any of our business to fix. As Empaths we tend to try to fix things to make ourselves feel better. It can backfire, especially since the other person could easily fall into the Bully role if we step into the Rescuer role. Sure, she may be wounded or whatever, but it is not our business.

Option b. is somewhat doable and in other ways not doable. As Empaths we cannot ignore this extra information, especially when it is attack being directed at us. Trying to resist it in this way can be exhausting. At the same time, it is important to realize that hanging out in this type of vibration is also exhausting, and that there will be a cost later. This person is sending out psychic attack, and that does have an effect on our system.

Option c is great! It acknowledges what is going on. The attack vibes are real. It puts the responsibility on the attacker, and it also keeps us out of both the Victim and the Rescuer roles. (and bully role, too!) This identifying the problem, seeing who is responsible, and then moving out of the way of the vibration is the “aikido” of energetic protection. At the same time, the vibration in the room is still not good for us, and we should understand that our limits with such a person are going to be lower than other non-Empaths.

The description of coming back into the body and noticing what is literally going on is what is called moving into the perceptual state of the literal (serpent in shamanic terms) Doing so shuts off momentarily the perceptions of the hidden (jaguar) from which most Empaths live. But it is approaching the whole issue with non-personal awareness (the perceptual state of the soul) that allows us to be in such situations without having to engage them or get caught in someone elses drama.

The last bit of observation–that the fear tends to exacerbate the psychic attack–is my client moving into the Victim mode, which invites more attack from the Bully, even though no conscious drama is going on!!! This is the power of the drama triangle! The best protection from these situations is to not get caught in the other person’s Drama–don’t pick up whatever role they want you to play. And move out of the way. Sometimes we DO need to move physically out of the way as well, but do so without a big story of Drama around it.

With just an annual gathering of a few days, I bet my client can handle it and still enjoying the rest of the people there. If this was a daily occurance, then something would need to change for my client’s emotional health.

Let me know if you have more questions!!

much love,

Elaine

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Posted in Boundaries, Drama Triangle, Emotions, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Relationships | 4 Comments

Support for the Empath

Hi Everyone!

I am happy to annouce that I have been able to record the Empath Telecall for those of you who are looking for support and insight into your intuitive gifts. Right now there are two calls available for download, and the live calls are scheduled for the 1st and 3rd Fridays of the month. Our next call is this Friday. Please let me know if you’d like to join us. Right now we’ve discussed how the Empath deals with input from others, basic protections, and we’ve just begun talking about the Drama Triangle and the Empath. If you’d like to learn more, just go to my website and click workshops. It’s the first workshop listed.

Here’s to enjoying our Empathy and our intuitive gifts!

Elaine

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Posted in Boundaries, Creativity, Drama Triangle, Emotional Dissociation, Emotions, Empathy, Guidance, Life Transition, Manifestation, Relationships, Soul Path/Purpose | Leave a comment

Who controls your consciousness?

Hi Everyone,

Wow! If you are an Empath, it’s hard not to absorb the doom and gloom mentality of the group right now (or consensual reality, as shaman’s like to call it) It is precisely at times like these that we must remember that we are the authors of our own stories. We are in charge of creating our lives. That is, unless we give our power over to others, without even realizing that that is what we are doing.

If you are scared and fearful right now, make sure that you aren’t tapped in to the group consciousness. Take back your power. You may have to turn off the news or stop reading the paper for the next few months. Instead, look at what you are creating in your life right now, look at what you have control over right now. This is your focus–the rest of it really doesn’t matter.

But, is there anything that needs to change in your life? Now is the best time to make those changes. Is there anything out of alignment with your personal essence, your soul? Now is the time to start the transition. It’s hard, because change always brings up fear, but moving forward now is so important.

Many of my clients and friends are going through big shifts right now that they had put off for a few years. None of us can get way with putting off our work, including the country as a whole, apparently! But our focus needs to be more local.

If you are in a tough spot, with a job loss, or a relationship on the brink, it is the perfect time to remember your creative manifestation skills. It is the perfect time to take this time as an opportunity to connect back to the heart, the soul, and make those changes now.

I have been filled with fear over the past few months–I’ve been absorbing the group think and also my beliefs about the pachakuti (2012) have been triggered. It’s been the perfect time for me to look at my own power, and what I want to create. Looking at my life now, I’ve seen that I’ve done the work in my relationships and in my practice. Everything is in pretty good alignment. There’s no reason that I won’t be well supported like I always have because I’ve gotten those kinks out of the way. Of course, there’s no guarantee of this, but life is a risky business–but this was true before the financial crisis! Taking stock at where I am, what I want to create in my life, I see all is well, and much of the fear subsides. That is, until I look at the paper again!

So make this a practice–Look to your own power when frightened, make sure you’re in charge of your consciousness, regroup, reconnect to your soul, and go back to living your life supported by the Great Spirit.

much love!

Elaine

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Empath Teleclass Begins Friday



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October Newsletter Available

Hello Everyone,  My October newsletter is now available at http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/October2008Newsletter.htm Enjoy!! Elaine

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Transformation on the Blog

Hi All,  A few months ago, NeoInsight wrote in asking questions about his marriage to his Emotionally Dissociated wife.  If you haven’t been following the comments that followed the post, NeoInsight has not only divorced his wife, but has also left … Continue reading

Posted in Client Success Stories, Creativity, Drama Triangle, Emotional Dissociation, Emotions, Empathy, Life Transition, Relationships | Leave a comment

Emotional Dissociation—Exposing the Dissociated Hero

I was just asked the question of whether it should be explained to the dissociated hero the motivations that lead her to be cold and unfeeling in her relationships.  My reader had found my essay on dissociated heroes and discovered that his … Continue reading

Posted in Boundaries, Drama Triangle, Emotional Dissociation, Emotions, Empathy, Relationships | 13 Comments