Hello I enjoyed your article on Intuitives, Empaths, and the Dissociated person. I am traveling through a very difficult time in my life and have literally felt like I don’t know what hit me. I am an intuitive but just beginning my spiritual journey. I am a scientist with an open mind and am finding so much truth in the spiritual side of life.
I have been married for 12 years and although my wife is a great mother (we have two boys), I have discovered that I am in an abusive relationship – abusive emotionally. I have discovered this after countless hours of research and reading and talking to many different people including a year of counseling (both with my wife and by myself). My close family members have told me for years that things were not as I observed – I was ordered around and not loved or respected. My wife is not a bad person, but we don’t seem to function well together, unless I am taking care of all of the emotion. We are different creatures. I have felt like my energy has slowly been drained over the years and now I have nothing left to give to her.
It appears that our marriage is over. I have no desire to jump through the next higher layer of hoops to win her over. We have both said that in our gut we know it is over. We are separted but still sleeping in the same bed and this is the plan for a year. I have withdrawn my emotional energy from her and I am feeling better, but at times she seems bitter. I am preparing to move on, but finding I feel uneasy and lonely at times.
I have two questions in relation to your article. First, myself and others that I have shown this article to do not quite understand what is meant by the intuitive processing the dissociated persons emotional energy for them. I can understand that my energy field has been drained, but not the processing part.
The second part of my question is, is it better to stay in a dead-end relationship for kids sake or is it more important for my soul and that of my children (and even my wife’s) to move on and be true to myself and hope to find another person of similar spirit? I know similar people to me are out there, in fact I believe I met a soul mate of mine 10 years ago – we have been close friends since. I know there are studies, some of which say it is best to stay together (for the kids sake), but others say it is best to show the kids true happiness, which can’t be found in the current relationship. So from a spiritual perspective, what is best for myself, my wife, and our kids? I truly believe that my wife is dissociated and has deep emotional sadness and pain (which I can’t get to in order to help), therefore the direction that I am heading appears to match what your article recommends – step out of the way gently, which I interpret to mean that I should move on (I am not suggesting that your article is telling me to leave my wife!).
I know from my core that I must move on. My counselor has told me this and he is helping me move in this direction – not pushing me but definately guiding me, my family has suggested this, my wife wants to. I guess since I haven’t done this before, it does terrify me, but I also know that I am happy on my own and will always be – alone or not, my happiness comes from within. I love life, my job, my kids, and the journey that I am just starting. I am finding strength in my soul mate, friends, family, counseling, and wonderfully insightful articles such as this.
I guess what I am looking for someone to tell me it is okay to move on, in fact it is the right thing to do. I definately have the strength to do this, but it is incredibly difficult at times. I know that you do not know me, so I am looking for a broader spiritual answer and not necessarily one specific to my situation. I am mainly concerned about my children and how this will affect them. I had hoped and expected to be with them every day of their childhood.
Thanks for your time,