My most frequently asked questions are "how do I surrender control?" and "how do I know I'm still surrendering?"  I find in my own life that when I am struggling with this question I can ask myself another that seems unrelated, but for me is really the same question.  And that is, "How willing am I to be myself no matter what?" and, "am I willing to be myself if it means I never get my heart's desire?"

When I am committed to being myself I live from a soulful place that is naturally uncontrolling and faithful.  It's the only place of real security, and the only place of true power.  I become unwilling to compromise myself or pretend that I am different than who I truly am.  I take my power back from others and leave them free to respond in any way they need.  When we are willing to be ourselves, we immediately become attractive to what exactly matches us, and lo and behold, we usually get what we want.  But sometimes we do not get what we originally wanted---we discover that it wasn't a true heart's desire because it wasn't coming from our true selves.

Thank God for the times when we don't get what we asked for.  But, what I see more often happen in my life and the lives of my clients is we get exactly what we ask for, even when it doesn't suit our true self.  We can wind up married to the wrong person, working in the wrong profession, and spending our time in ways that make it difficult to commit to the Self.

Because we haven't been living the life our Soul desires, when we finally commit to the Self, our lives can literally come apart at the seams.  Everything that doesn't fit what our Soul ultimately wants gets thrown out.  This process can be chaotic and frightening, and does require surrendering control and a trust that our Soul is taking care of us.

Sometimes the process becomes so chaotic or scary we may try to put on the breaks, or make deals with our Soul to slow down.  One of my clients had a reading at the beginning of the year around her soul's purpose, was overjoyed to hear that it was what she had thought it was, and made a commitment on the spot to let herself have it.  However, her life was going to have to change drastically, and doubts and fears came up even though she was filled with enthusiasm and anticipation.

Months later she was taking very little action to support her life purpose.  At the same time, she was in several near accidents in her commute to and from a job that was draining her Soul instead of supporting it. When I asked her how her commitment to Self was doing, she burst into tears.  Her life purpose had fallen by the wayside, but her Soul was going to have it or die.  This sounds terribly drastic, but when we've made that intentional commitment and our Souls hear it, there really is no going back to the old life without extreme suffering.

Luckily for my client, she recommitted to her Self.  She's taking small steps in support of her self, trusting that her Soul knows what it is doing. 

If you are having trouble surrendering control, ask yourself how committed are you to your Self no matter what, no matter where that Self will lead you.  Then, watch as your life accelerates and change begins to happen.  Even though as we surrender we give up doing and going after what we want, you'll find that there is plenty to do just in keeping up with the changes in your life.  And, your heart's desire will most likely arrive in the meantime.

Copyright Elaine La Joie 2004

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