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© Elaine La Joie 2003
design by Jenna Avery


Elaine's Upcoming Book on Empathy and Relationships

Hi Everyone!  Thank you so much for your interest in my work.  Here it is 2011 and yes, I am still working on my book.  It turns out that it is more complex than I had previously thought. A publication on Amazon is still out in the future. However, because I've had so many requests to repost the excerpts, I will do so in the next few months, along with new material.

My new working title is The Fulfilled Empath--How to Enjoy Wonderful Relationships and a Life of Creativity.  I'm excited!!


Thanks so much!



For a free copy of the Introduction to The Fulfilled Empath, click here: Add to Cart

3 pages, added Feb. 25th, 2011.

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The Fulfilled Empath

Elaine La Joie

updated Feb. 2011



Drama Triangle Essays:

Introduction to the Drama Triangle, Creating safe containers for your family, Victim posing as a Spiritual Seeker, The Guilt Tripping Rescuer, The Righteous Bully, Victim as Emotional Manipulator, and Empath as Bully. These essays have been updated and expanded.  This is a chapter from The Fulfilled Empath.  If you purchased these essays in 2009, you probably do not need this bundle.  21 pages, Cost $10.  Added Feb. 25, 2011 Add to Cart

Shamanic Energywork and the Soul's Journey Essays:

Introduction to Shamanic Work and Soul Retrieval, Mythic Homework and Preventing Psychic Flu, The Double Bind, The Internal Bully, The Power of Story, and Shedding Relationships.  Some of these Essay appeared in 2009 but have been updated and expanded.  The introduction to Shamanic Energywork and Working at the Mythic Level is new.  15 pages, Cost $8.  Added July 20, 2011  Add to Cart


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The Essays below will be available again soon within a book chapter or bundle. Please sign up for my blog to receive updates, or check back soon.  Thank you!

Empathy Essays:

The Classic Empath, including: Understanding the Pitfalls of the Classic Empath, The Giving Persona, The Sensitive Scientist, The Emotionally Dissociated Hero or Anti-Empath, and the Empathic Hero. 


The Peacemaker and the Empath: How the Empath relates to the Peacemaker, who avoids conflict and suppresses anger, in order to keep the peace.  This is a common relationship for Classic Empaths. 2pg pdf file.


The Empath and Romance: how infatuation and romance can become a block to the Empath's embracing her creativity. 2pg. pdf file. 

The Empath and the Pedestal: how our original wounds can cause the Empath to become stuck in a cycle of putting others on pedestals.

The Empath and Authenticity:  how the Empath must learn that authenticity must not come at the expense of protection of the self and good boundaries with others.  


Relationship Essays:

Shedding Relationships:  Sometimes it is necessary to let old relationships go to make room for new relationships.  2 pgs. Cost $1 added March 31st


Family System Reinforcement: Breaking away from our Family System can be a challenge. How we can have a destiny instead of the family fate. 2pgs.  Cost $1.  added July 23rd.

Healing Process/Soul's Journey Essays:

The Internal Bully and Healing Severe Abuse:  If we've been victims of severe abuse, we can become stymied by our own Internal Bully when we learn to step into power. 2 pgs. Cost $1. added July 23rd

Living from Center--Integrity and Relationships:  When we co-create with Spirit, we're given the opportunity to straighten out our relationships.  Handling this time with Integrity is essential. 3 pgs. Cost $1. added July 23rd


Making Death our Ally:  When we follow our Soul's Calling, we come face to face with Ego Death.  The challenge is making Death our Ally so we can co-create effectively with Spirit.  2pgs. Cost $1. added July 23rd

The DoubleBind:  How we can unravel double binds by undoing the conflicting beliefs that lead to a lose-lose situation.  2pgs. Cost $1.  added July 23rd


Grounding and the Lower Chakras:  Why it is so important to stay grounded when working with Spirit. Straighten out our wounds in the first three chakras.  2pgs Cost $1. added July 23rd.


(please read the above essays before purchasing the essays below: Understanding of concepts discussed in previous essays is assumed.)

Family System Reinforcement Essays:

Introduction to Family System Reinforcement Essays:  The following essays follow one family, examining interlocking beliefs and outcomes of Dramas. 1pg. Cost Free.  added August 24th

Introduction to the Archetype of the Fan: A description of the Fan, and a Fan's growth through becoming independent of her group.  4pgs. Cost $1.  added Aug. 24th


Healing for the Giving Persona: A description of how the Empath can help the Giving Persona escape the need to please others at the expense of the self. 3 pgs. Cost $1. added Sept. 3rd


The Fan as Parent of Heroes and Empaths: A description of how the Fan reinforces both Hero behavior and Empath behavior, and the typical trouble spots for Empaths trying to understand their Fan parent.  4pgs. Cost $1.  added Aug. 24th

Heroes and Secret Drama and Empath as Secret Witness: A description of Secret Drama, in which Heroes enact their Shadow side by using an Empath as a Secret Witness and Rescuer.  A very dangerous but common role for the Empath17 pages. Cost $4. added Aug. 26th.

Couples Work and the Empath: How the Empath can give feedback when her partner is stuck in an old belief system rather than withdrawing or assuming the relationship is over. 5pgs. Cost $2.  added Sept. 3rd.


The Fan and the Empath: Understanding how an unhealthy Fan can become stuck in double binds can help Empaths not take the Fan's behavior personally.  How the Fan values the group more than the individual. 8 pages.  Cost $2. added Aug. 31st.


Dealing with Passive Aggression: A description of passive aggressive behavior and the psychic attack that Empath's will pick up.  How to deal with passive aggressive family members. 2 pages.  Cost $1. Added Aug. 31st


Empath as Colluding Rescuer: The average Empath falls into the Archetypal Role of Rescuer, Colluding with the Agenda of the Group. 2pgs. Cost $1. Added Sept. 4th

Empath as Scapegoat: How and why the Empath tends to be scapegoated within the Family when the Family is invested in not seeing problems.  2 pages. Cost $1.  Added Aug. 31st.


The Guilt and Anger Cycle:  Empaths can become stuck in Internalized Drama when breaking free of the pressure of the family group think.  2pgs. Cost $1.  added Aug. 24th

The Empath, The Hero, and Amplified Emotional Resonance: How the Empath can set up a strong cord to another and feel that other persons emotions.  This becomes amplified when the Empath shares similar beliefs. 4 pgs. Cost $1. added Sept. 9th

Following the Soul's Calling Despite Appearances: How we must give up appearances completely when we commit to our Souls, no matter that it looks as if others are creating what we want.  2 pages. Cost $1. Added Aug. 31st.

Forgiveness and the Drama Triangle: How focusing on Forgivness can keep us trapped on the Drama Triangle.  Focus on healing the wound instead.  2pgs. Cost $1. added Sept. 4th


More Family Reinforcement Essays on the way soon.. 

Coming Soon!

Empaths and Withdrawal

Empaths and being Special

Empaths and Abandonment

Empaths and the Emotional Whirlwind

Empaths and Comparison/Jealousy

The Emotionally Dissociated Hero

Understanding the Relationship between Heros and Empaths


The Caretaker

The Spiritual DoGooder

Inviting the Bully:

The Verbally Abusive Bully

Personal Healing work for the Empath


Understanding Projection

Discernment versus Judgment

The Insecurity and Arrogance Cycle

Healthy Empaths and Healing work

Soul Retrieval Work

Healing Process

Following a Calling

Living with Joy

Living in Abundance

Loving Reality


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