Happy New Year!!
I’ve returned from my sabbatical after almost nine months. It’s good to be back! I will be taking clients again in March. Until then I will be catching up on comments and posts to the blog.
Hope you all have a very nice start to your new year!!!
Elaine
Wow! I’ve been reading the articles on your website over the past few days and was wondering when you would come on line again. And then I see your post! Synchronicity!
I also wanted to say how much I love your articles, how insightful and brilliantly written they are. They’ve helped me so much over the past few days and I reference them on my blog.
I’m especially interested in the awakening intuitive disconnecting from family of origin in order to grow spiritually. I’m in this process currently. But also it was fascinating for me to read of being an emotional advocate for an emotionally dissociated person (a family member) and wondering why I felt so tired after being in their presence. And feeling the need to avoid them. I can’t be in the same room as they are.
Also realised the “energy residue” that he left behind in a room as well. I also realised that I was channelling a lot of his unexpressed and unresolved fears, anger, depression and anxiety – and overeating on sweet stuff and cappuchinos to channel some of his anxiety.
I am strengthening my energetic boundaries because the minute I let my guard down – he jumps right back in! He is incredibly needy and his fear is energetically very palpable and close to the surface.
I wonder though if you feel that there is a man/woman divide over this? When it comes to emotional energy, I suspect that women do a lot of channeling for men and that it is also socially expected that women do so as well. That there are emotions that are more taboo for both men and women ie anger for women, sadness for men, but that women tend to take this channeling on more readily.
Because whenever a couple gets divorced, the man seems to remarry much more quickly than the woman does. There are other mitigating factors, if a woman has children, then she will much more choosy about who she lets into her life for eg. But it seems that men are in such a rush because it’s often only with a woman that their disowned energy can be channelled and that they tend to wither emotionally without a woman in their lives.
It also seems to be why marriage helps men’s health more than it does women’s?
As an empath developing strong boundaries, it doesn’t yet feel safe to be in relationship because I feel that my energy will still attract emotionally dissociative men, like my father and brother were, so I want to clear that energy out of my system, so that I can attract more emotionally healthy relationships with people who take responsibility for their emotional state.
That’s my New Year’s Resolution!
Hi Julie,
Thanks so much for your kind words about my articles! I am glad they have been so helpful to you. Yes, the biggest challenge for Empaths seems to be developing strong boundaries. Once we do this, we no longer invite energetically those who need us to process for them emotionally.
In general, I would agree with you and say that men tend to be less skilled at processing their emotions than women. At the same time, in my life and in my practice I’ve seen many many women somewhat dissociated from their emotions, especially anger. I think what happens is we have a range of skills in our ability to handle emotion, and we attract the perfect mirrors for doing so.
My biggest lessons in growing my own boundaries have come from processing for my women friends, who in turn tend to process for the men in their lives. Isn’t that interesting?
And yes, you are correct that processing someone else’s energy will adversly affect your health. If one person is jumping into remarriage to have their emotions taken care of, they are missing a great opportunity to learn, heal, and empower themselves, even though the discomfort of facing our own tough and stuck emotional energy initially makes it uncomfortable.
Good for you for waiting to attract your mate into your life when your own energy is not inviting a dissociated person!! When we work and change ourselves on the inside, we immediately change what Spirit delivers to us on the outside, which I’m sure you already understand. I have no doubt that the right partner for you, also with healthy boundaries, will arrive shortly!!
Elaine