The Empath and Being a Light Worker—Falling into the Judgment Trap

Hello Everyone!  The weather has been just gorgeous here in Portland with the trees showing off their fall colors, and the rain scheduled to stay away through the end of the month.  With school in full swing I’ve been able to get in a groove with my schedule.  Just recently I began a new series of essays based on my client work, and on questions that have come up in my practice.  I wanted to share little tidbits of them with you on the blog today.  I hope you enjoy, and of course I always appreciate the feedback as these will go into a bigger book.

Falling into the Judgment Trap

The most common error many people who begin conscious personal work do, not just Empaths, is to buy into the idea that they are here to be Light Workers and help heal the world.  This is a very good way to get yourself into lots of trouble with judgment.  What is Light?  What is Dark?  Who decides?

The truth of the matter is is that it is all allowed.  Spirit doesn’t judge what we choose to do with our lives and our time here.  We are creating all of it, the beautiful dream and the nightmare.  If we become focused on the beautiful dream, we start excluding and making bad and wrong things that don’t line up with that dream.  We try to cast them out, when in fact they exist.

We do this with the external world, and with the internal world.  When we do this with the internal world we create a very big Shadow.  We become invested in disowning what we’ve deemed bad, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.  It very much is, and because we’ve disowned our Shadow, it has great power in our lives to hurt ourselves and the people around us.

First and foremost, try to give up judgment.  Instead focus on discernment.  Decide what is good for you or not good for you, but don’t judge the other person as good or bad.  We are all here on journey, doing our own thing.  Walk away and don’t interact with situations and people that you don’t want to, but try not to view them as horrible human beings despite the actions they’ve taken.  They have their own business to attend to, as do you.

When we give up judgment we are set free in a way that makes it easier to see others and ourselves clearly.  We can forgive ourselves for our foibles, change what we want to change, and have a great time with what we like about ourselves.

If you want to be a healer or a shaman, the first place to start is healing your own life, getting to know your shadow and your projections, taking a good laugh at yourself, and getting to work.

 

The Light Worker Trap—Every Failed Relationship is in Need of Deep Healing

Another common pitfall that comes up is that Empaths feel wrongness when a relationship comes to an end.  A relationship, especially between healers, should always have a loving, connected outcome.  This is patently false, as can be seen just looking at the state of the world, and looking at the drama that commonly comes between healers and shaman.  Shaman are people.  We all have our stuff to work on and our own journey.  If we do that work, naturally some relationships will fall away.  People don’t match anymore.  This is all allowed.  However, if you’re caught in the Light Worker Trap, you may believe that such close relationships cannot come to an end—they must be fixed, or one or the other is a bad person.

This is nonsense.  In my own personal life I have had several friendships disintegrate right as I was struck psychic.  These relationships were critical to my sense of support and well being, but the truth was the people I was connected to weren’t capable of reciprocating the support I needed.  One person wasn’t interested in a life with a psychic, and the other person wasn’t really willing to do the personal work required.  Neither person misses me at all, and I don’t miss them.  I don’t hate them or think they are bad people—we just no longer matched for the life I was entering.  I don’t send them love or good wishes, either.  I’ve moved on, and so have they.

A few years ago one of my mentors did a destiny retrieval for me because I was caught up in a lifestyle that I didn’t really care for any longer, but couldn’t get out of.  I was making myself sick as a way to escape from it.  The requirement for this destiny retrieval to truly be installed was that I had to be willing to give up everything in my life that didn’t serve me, and I had to mean it.

Interestingly enough, several relationships went by the wayside, some in surprising and dramatic fashion, others quietly and almost without notice.  My life changed dramatically for the better.  But I had to let go and make room for what was best for me.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you’re a healer you have to maintain a good relationship with everyone.  You don’t.  Make room for what is best for you, and see what Spirit brings in next.

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Coyote Portal Fast Approaching!

Hello Everyone!

Just a quick note to say that the Coyote Portal Workshop is just a week away!  It’s Friday  August 23rd in the evening, all day Saturday, and Sunday until 5pm.  We have just a few spots left–if you were interested and would like to come, please let me know.  Click here to view the flyer.

Coyote is the fun loving, mischievous trickster, who is also family oriented, and a shape shifter.   I am REALLY looking forward to knowing Coyote better and learning the tools to be able to step into Coyote consciousness at will.  And apparently this workshop feels like a weekend-long party.  Who wouldn’t want that??

If you’ve had an interest in shamanism, but do not want to commit to a full wheel, or needed an introduction this is a nice way to go.  You will learn great skills without needing any prerequisites, and each workshop, although in a series, stands alone.  Please reach out if you have questions.  Click here to learn more.

Much love,

Elaine

Posted in Client Success Stories, Creativity, Energy Healing, Guides, Angels, Spirit Helpers, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals, Relationships | Leave a comment

Coyote Portal in August; Can an Empath Learn to not Take Life so Seriously?

Hello Everyone! 

I hope you are enjoying your summer!  Thank you to everyone who recently signed up for my email list after listening to the Integrated Empath Summit.  I appreciate your interest in my work!  I will be returning in a few days from summer break, and I’m looking forward to getting back to my practie.

I’ve been excited over the past year to host my shaman mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife, Shanon for the Raven portal last year, the Buffalo Portal this past March, and now the Coyote Portal this coming August.  Raven taught us how to access Timelessness to heal our regrets and worries, Buffalo taught us how to stand strong in the face of opposition, and now Coyote teaches us how to not take life so seriously.

Shanon described the Coyote Portal as one long weekend party.  Given that my husband and I just celebrated our 50th birthdays, we thought that holding the Coyote Portal next would be appropriate to keep the celebrating going. 

Now that I’ve been to two Portals, you’d think that it would be easy to describe and advertise for these workshops, but they are so experiential that I am still finding it a challenge!  I know that saying, “Come, and find out for yourself,” isn’t very helpful, but it actually does apply, you will build your own personal relationship with the animal emissary. 

For many of us Empaths, we tend to take what happens to us very personally, and that in turn leads to us being serious and sometimes being melancholy.  Learning how to not take life so seriously becomes a life skill and a life line.  We Empaths can identify with being sad because we tend to focus on what is lacking in our lives.  On the one hand this is helpful because we know exactly what we want to fix and what we would like to create.  On the other hand, being in that emotional state much of the time can be hard on our systems, which in turn robs us of our vitality.

Imagine learning simple tools that involve both body movements and music that would allow you to shift out of that state and into a new state at will whenever you needed an extra boost.  This is what these Portals workshops offer–tangible tools that shift us immediately and experientially into the mythic and out of the emotional.  Imagine being able to shift into the sweetness of life, the fun of life, and maybe experience some mischievousness as well.  Coyote is ready and willing, as your ally, to offer you this skill.

The wonderful aspect about these Portals workshops is that there are no pre-requisities, they can be taken in any order, and they stand alone.  In contrast, many series need to be taken in order, and a medicine wheel needs to be completed or else we can get “stuck” in one direction.  The tools you learn in the Portals workshop are yours for life, to use and deepen as you wish.

If you have been interested in shamanic training, but are hesitant to commit to a program, this is an excellent way to see if this work is right for you.  If you are an experienced shaman and interested in learning from a new tradition, Marv and Shanon are two of the few who were given permission by the elders to teach in the Blackfoot Tradition.  They have been teaching and in practice for decades; you will be in good hands.

Here are a few words from Marv and Shanon:

Throughout the ages, Shaman have walked many paths – all leading to “Portals”.
Portals are Shamanic gateways to worlds beyond our consciousness;
worlds where true healing exists and miracles happen.
Come walk the animistic and the energetic paths in tandem to amass the
knowledge and skills to create an Amopistaan – your personal animistic mesa.
This in-depth series of 9 seminars (portals) is an on-going program of theory & practical hands-on work.
The portals are designed to facilitate the successful assimilation of information and skills presented.
As the student gains and demonstrates proficiency they will be given rites of passage at each level.

Come and play with the fun-loving, mischievous trickster known as Coyote and get to know a surprising new
side of him. See what this adaptable, family oriented shape-shifter has to offer to you and your life!
The “Portals” Series is open to everyone. No pre-requisites are required for any of the individual seminars.
You may attend them in any order, at any of our teaching locations. Welcome to the journey!

 

Please do not hesitate to contact me for more information.  I am happy to chat on the phone to answer questions about the workshop. 

WORKSHOP DATES: August 23-25th, $399

Friday Registration 4:30-5pm, Friday Class 5pm-9pm

Saturday 9am-8pm

Sunday 9am-5pm

at the Multnomah Arts Center in Multnomah Village, Portland, Oregon.

Posted in Client Success Stories, Emotions, Empathy, Energy Healing, Guidance, Guides, Angels, Spirit Helpers, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals, Relationships, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My interview airs this Friday! And Portals Workshop August 23-25th

Hello Everyone!

I hope you are enjoying the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer holidays!  Just a reminder that my interview with Karyn Kulenovic airs this Friday through the weekend; if you haven’t signed up yet please click here.  Karyn has interviewed 18 Empath experts, and you can listen for free, with a replay of all the interviews the last weekend of June.

In my interview I talk about animal archetypes and how we can build an individual relationship with these archetypes to help us in our daily lives.  I have hosted two of these workshops here in Portland, first for Raven, and recently in March for Buffalo. Our next animal archetype workshop is the weekend of August 23rd for Coyote.  Coyote teaches us how to not take life so seriously.  Supposedly this workshop feels like a big party all weekend.  I am so looking forward to it!  If you are interested, don’t hesitate to contact me for more details.

much love,

Elaine

Posted in Client Success Stories, Emotions, Empathy, Energy Healing, Guidance, Guides, Angels, Spirit Helpers, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals, Relationships | Leave a comment

Empath Summit Season Three with Karyn Kulenovic starts June 8th!

Hello Everyone,

I’m so excited to be a part of the Empath Summit Season Three this year!  From June 8th through June 23rd you can listen to 18 Empath professionals who have used their sensitivity and gifts to build lives and businesses that they love For FREE!  My interview airs June 21st.  I talk about the workshop series with animal archetypes that I host here in Portland, and how each archetype gives us tools that can give us assistance in various aspects of our lives.   I hope you will join us!  Please click here to sign up.

Posted in Boundaries, Clairvoyance, Client Success Stories, Creativity, Empathy, Energy Healing, Guidance, Guides, Angels, Spirit Helpers, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals, Soul Path/Purpose, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Standing Strong During Adversity–Buffalo Portal in March!

Hello Everyone! It’s been a very busy winter of client work. I am so honored to be able to work with Empaths who are committed to living happy lives free of Drama, especially those Empaths who have been set up by family circumstances to take up the Victim Role so easily. Seeing these clients stand strong in themselves and step out of Victim is tough practice, but very rewarding.

For those of us looking for extra shamanic tools to stay strong and overcome obstacles, the Buffalo Portal workshop is coming up in less than a month! My mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife Shanon, are coming from Canada the weekend of March 22nd to introduce us to the animistic ally, Buffalo. I’m very excited for this particular workshop–given everything going on in my own personal life at the moment, shamanic tools for standing firm despite opposition would come in handy!

Many of you have asked me about further training, and whether shamanic training would be right for you. These Portal workshops, which can be taken in any order, and have no prerequisites are a gentle way to discover whether shamanic work is right for you. It’s hard to describe what these trainings are like because they are experiential. You will build your own personal relationship with Buffalo, and you will carry home with you practical tools you can use in your own life. This is a small group class, and we have a few spots left. If you are in Portland, come join us and discover for yourself.

Here are the logistics below:

WORKSHOP DATES
March 22-24, 2019
$399
Friday Registration: 4-5 PM / Friday Class: 5-9 PM
Saturday: 9 AM – 8 PM
Sunday: 9 AM – 5 PM

REGISTRATION DEADLINE: March 20th, 2019


TO REGISTER Send email to: coachelaine@clearreflectioncoaching.com
 
PRE-REQUISITE: None

LOCATION:
Multnomah Arts Center
Classroom #10
7688 SW Capitol Hwy
Portland, OR 97219

PORTAL #8 ~

Buffalo is the 8th portal on the outer Circle of Life –  and the gateway to the deep and most complex portal ~ The Centre. 

Buffalo not only teaches us to face the adverse situations of life, but also introduces us to some of the most ancient symbology known to man. Come and find out why Buffalo is the perfect emissary to show you how to both face adversity and to prepare for the greatest mystery of all –   your journey into the Centre.  


The world of Buffalo asks ~
    1.  How easily do you make and follow through on crucial
      decisions in the face of opposition or difficulty? 

  2.  Do you make it a practice to protect those in your community, 
       who, for whatever reason, cannot protect or defend themselves?

  3.  How well do you face the storms of life head on?
  4.  Do you have what it takes to move into the Centre?


ABOUT KIMMAPII
Marv & Shanon Harwood have been immersed in Shamanic Studies for more than 25 years. Today they share their combined knowledge through three streams of Shamanism: The Animistic, The Energetic and The Destinistic.


FOR MORE INFO
www.kimmapii.com


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Buffalo Portal Workshop March 22nd-24th!

Happy New Year! It’s a bit shocking to be in the second week of 2019, but that means it’s time for me to start organizing the next Portal Workshop taught by Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii School of Shamanism. If you’ve ever wondered if shamanic training was for you, I highly recommend these Portals classes as a way to immerse yourself in a thorough but gentle way in the realm of the Sacred or the Mythic. Last August Marv and Shanon introduced our group to the animal emissary, Raven, who teaches us how to access Timelessness.

The wonderful thing about working with Raven is that we can bring our regrets and our anxieties (stuck in the past, or stuck in the future) to Raven and deal with those there. I was pleasantly surprised to see how my regrets and worries shifted and changed, and even disappeared. We were also given tools and a practice to continue working with Raven as often as we needed.

Our next emissary is Buffalo, who teaches us how to overcome adversity. Buffalo shows us how to face life’s storms, how to stick to our decisions despite opposition, and how to protect those in our circle unable to protect themselves. The Portal classes can be taken in any order. I would love to have you join us–this is a small class setting to keep the atmosphere comfortable. Please contact me if you’d like more details.

Here are the logistics below:

WORKSHOP DATES
March 22-24, 2019
$399
Friday Registration: 4-5 PM / Friday Class: 5-9 PM
Saturday: 9 AM – 8 PM
Sunday: 9 AM – 5 PM

REGISTRATION DEADLINE: February 28, 2019


TO REGISTER Send email to: coachelaine@clearreflectioncoaching.com
 
PRE-REQUISITE: None

LOCATION:
Multnomah Arts Center
Classroom #10
7688 SW Capitol Hwy
Portland, OR 97219

PORTAL #8 ~

Buffalo is the 8th portal on the outer Circle of Life –  and the gateway to the deep and most complex portal ~ The Centre. 

Buffalo not only teaches us to face the adverse situations of life, but also introduces us to some of the most ancient symbology known to man. Come and find out why Buffalo is the perfect emissary to show you how to both face adversity and to prepare for the greatest mystery of all –   your journey into the Centre.  


The world of Buffalo asks ~
    1.  How easily do you make and follow through on crucial
      decisions in the face of opposition or difficulty? 

  2.  Do you make it a practice to protect those in your community, 
       who, for whatever reason, cannot protect or defend themselves?

  3.  How well do you face the storms of life head on?
  4.  Do you have what it takes to move into the Centre?


ABOUT KIMMAPII
Marv & Shanon Harwood have been immersed in Shamanic Studies for more than 25 years. Today they share their combined knowledge through three streams of Shamanism: The Animistic, The Energetic and The Destinistic.


FOR MORE INFO
www.kimmapii.com


Posted in Energy Healing, Guidance, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals, Removing Obstacles, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Possible Portal Workshop, November

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been meaning to write about the wonderful Raven workshop Marv and Shanon Harwood of the Kimmapii School of Shamanism taught this past August here in Portland.  We were taught how to access the Raven Portal  so we could experience Timelessness.  Soaring with Raven allowed us to deal with our regrets and worries in a very effective way.  What a magical experience!

There are nine Portal workshops in total that can be taken in any order, and require no prerequisites.  I had such a lovely time, that I asked Marv and Shanon if they had any availability to teach another Portal this Fall.  They are free the weekend of November 9th.  I have found a venue, and would like to move forward.  The next Portal will either be Buffalo (dealing with Obstacles) or Bear (dealing with Fear)

If you are interested, please contact me as soon as possible, and perhaps we shall go through the next Portal together.

much love,

Elaine

Posted in Energy Healing, Myth and Archetype, Power Animals | 9 Comments

Drama and Stepping into Timelessness

Hello Everyone!

It is very strange to me that August is already here, and ironic since at the end of the month I am hosting a workshop all about stepping into Timelessness.  Time seems to have sped up for many of us with all our obligations and our busy lives.  Stepping into Timelessness isn’t just useful for relieving ourselves from the busy-ness of life, it is also useful for stepping out of Drama.

We Empaths can get stirred up with our own internal Drama after we’ve made a decision, especially if the decision is a firm No to someone who is stuck in Drama themselves.  I had the opportunity recently to work with a client who was prone to Drama, and then to see how stepping into Timelessness can stop the Drama right in Its tracks.

My client had been in a years-long friendship with another Empath who happened to be stuck in Victim.  This person had managed to blow little innocent incidents into hurtful, unnecessary Dramas with various people in her life.  After one incident too many involving my client’s spouse, my client and her spouse finally and firmly ended the relationship.  Of course, her friend found her unreasonable and unforgiving, and since this friend was stuck in Victim, considered my client a Bully and attacked her verbally.  All her own Shadow issues of jealousy and envy had been projected onto my client in one vicious last swoop.  My client already knew these issues were in play, but had hoped her friend had managed to get control of it and would take responsibility.  But this friend didn’t.  It was easy to see that this friend was dangerously carrying around a metaphorical loaded shotgun, and was unconscious to the harm she did to others firing it off whenever her own stuff was triggered.  My client was relieved to let the friendship end, and she was also surprised by how free she felt afterwards.  (This is a typical feeling once we’ve given up a vampire relationship.)

Predictably the former friend wanted to repair the relationship, and she contacted my client once or twice.  My client very wisely ignored her.  She simply wasn’t interested anymore–her freedom, and the relief of friends around her was too valuable.  (She didn’t realize how much discomfort this friend had been causing in other lives until they confided in her afterwards.)

Naturally the Victim friend pulled in a Rescuer who was identified with Rescuing women who had put themselves in dire straights.  This Rescuer was doing his personal work so he could become an energyworker himself.  However, like many people who feel called to the healing arts, he had to work on his tendency to Rescue, and on his identification with being a Light Worker.  As many of you know from reading my blog and my books, shaman are not Light Workers.  Shaman can help assist others in owning the projections of their Shadows so that they can create lives that they want instead of what they create out of their Shadows. 

My client had the talent of being the social glue for people she loved, so excluding anyone from her life was very hard for her to do, which was of course why she allowed this former friendship to continue for so long in the first place.  The former friend was missing out on community events my client hosted on a regular basis.  The Rescuer saw this and wanted to help.  He contacted my client and told her that this relationship was in need of deep healing, and if she was willing to do the work, then this former friend could be included once again.  Luckily for my client she saw the Rescue right away and didn’t turn into a Bully and lambast him for interfering where he didn’t belong.  She simply told him that No, she wasn’t interested, and in fact there were others that would be negatively affected too, and she didn’t want to lose their company either, so No.  The Rescuer in this situation was very disappointed–he unconsciously thought to not only Rescue the former friend who held the Victim story, but to Rescue the friendship as well.  He thought that of course if you are doing your personal work, all relationships could be healed.  (This is a very common faulty belief.)

For my client she found the incident amusing at first, because she knew this man was working hard on his Rescuer tendency, but she had also taken on the Rescuer’s surprise and disappointment at her firm No.  (Remember, if you are stuck in Rescuer, it’s hard to see others clearly–everyone is either a Victim or a Bully.)  In her head she started defending herself and her position, she started going over what exactly had happened in the past to cause her to break off the relationship with the Victim, she started getting annoyed and angry at the Rescuer for breaking boundaries and approaching her when he didn’t even know her.  In short, she spun out into her own internal Drama–internal because she was wise enough not to act on it, but she was suffering anyway.  (If you are an Empath, you understand our tendency to slip into this type of suffering.)

The solution for her was to do a sandpainting and let Mother Earth transform it, and then she stepped into Timelessness.  Sitting next to her sandpainting, a hummingbird came and hovered in front of her face for a few moments, reminding her to step outside of time, drink only from the deepest nectar of life, and remember that life is in these precious nows.  Then the Drama was done, and she could laugh at the situation again.  Every person has their Shadow to work on–she could go back to being compassionate to everyone involved, including herself, without having to get back into a literal relationship with anyone stuck in Drama.  What a relief!

If you related to this story, and you would like to learn how to step into Timelessness, there is still time (haha!) to register for the Raven Portal Workshop taught by my mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife, Shanon in Portland from Friday evening August 24th through Sunday the 26th.  Just contact me or visit the homepage of my website:  www.elainelajoie.com

much love,

Elaine

 

 

 

Posted in Boundaries, Client Success Stories, Drama Triangle, Emotions, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Energy Healing, Forgiveness, Life Transition, Manifestation, Relationships, Removing Obstacles, Soul Path/Purpose | 2 Comments

Portals Workshop, Raven, next month!

Hello Everyone,

I hope you are having a wonderful summer!  I have been busy this summer with travel and summer camps, but it’s almost time for me to return to my practice in the next few weeks.  As many of you know, I began taking energy work clients again this past January.  (Hurray!  I had taken almost five years off!)  It’s been a pleasure working with Empaths again, both new clients and returning clients. 

This past March I also had the chance to reconnect in person with my shaman mentor Marv Harwood, and his wife Shanon for their Archetype Workshop.  I had such a great time, I decided to bring them to Portland for a shaman workshop this summer, August 24-26th.  (See details below)

Their background is in the Blackfoot tradition (north American plains)  They were mentored and taught by two of the elders of the tribe, and given the mission to spread their knowledge and experience.   I first met Marv at my first Four Winds workshop almost 15 years ago.  Since then he’s mentored me in my own personal journey, and served as a “back up tracker” for some of my stickier client questions.  He and Shanon are incredibly knowledgeable and gifted.  You can visit their website here

Here’s an opportunity to learn from Marv and Shanon from within their tradition with a Portals workshop that requires no prerequisites!  If you have an interest in shamanic work and how it can help you with your own personal journey, I hope you will join us this August.  I am very excited to have the opportunity to learn more myself, and not have to travel!  If you have questions don’t hesitate to email me, and please spread the word.  To see the flyer, click here

Here is a description of the workshop from Marv and Shanon:

Throughout the ages, Shaman have walked many paths – all leading to “Portals”.
Portals are Shamanic gateways to worlds beyond our consciousness;
worlds where true healing exists and miracles happen.
Come walk the animistic and the energetic paths in tandem to amass the
knowledge and skills to create an Amopistaan – your personal animistic mesa.
This in-depth series of 9 seminars (portals) is an on-going program of theory & practical hands-on work.
The portals are designed to facilitate the successful assimilation of information and skills presented.
As the student gains and demonstrates proficiency they will be given rites of passage at each level.
Intelligent, articulate, teacher, bridge to the other side – these are all terms that
describe the mystery and the majesty of Raven.
Come meet Raven and let his black wings and bright eyes carry you from this world
into the world of timelessness where he’ll coach and guide you to find that stillness within.
The “Portals” Series is open to everyone. No pre-requisites are required for any of the individual seminars.
You may attend them in any order, at any of our teaching locations. Welcome to the journey!

 

WORKSHOP DATES
August 24 – 26, 2018
$399
Friday Registration: 4-5 PM / Friday Class: 5-9 PM
Saturday: 9 AM – 8 PM
Sunday: 9 AM – 5 PM

REGISTRATION DEADLINE: August 10th, 2018
TO REGISTER

Send email to: coachelaine at clearreflectioncoaching.com
 
PRE-REQUISITE
None

LOCATION
Multnomah Arts Center
Classroom #10
7688 SW Capitol Hwy
Portland, OR 97219

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