Hello Everyone! The weather has been just gorgeous here in Portland with the trees showing off their fall colors, and the rain scheduled to stay away through the end of the month. With school in full swing I’ve been able to get in a groove with my schedule. Just recently I began a new series of essays based on my client work, and on questions that have come up in my practice. I wanted to share little tidbits of them with you on the blog today. I hope you enjoy, and of course I always appreciate the feedback as these will go into a bigger book.
Falling into the Judgment Trap
The most common error many people who begin conscious personal work do, not just Empaths, is to buy into the idea that they are here to be Light Workers and help heal the world. This is a very good way to get yourself into lots of trouble with judgment. What is Light? What is Dark? Who decides?
The truth of the matter is is that it is all allowed. Spirit doesn’t judge what we choose to do with our lives and our time here. We are creating all of it, the beautiful dream and the nightmare. If we become focused on the beautiful dream, we start excluding and making bad and wrong things that don’t line up with that dream. We try to cast them out, when in fact they exist.
We do this with the external world, and with the internal world. When we do this with the internal world we create a very big Shadow. We become invested in disowning what we’ve deemed bad, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It very much is, and because we’ve disowned our Shadow, it has great power in our lives to hurt ourselves and the people around us.
First and foremost, try to give up judgment. Instead focus on discernment. Decide what is good for you or not good for you, but don’t judge the other person as good or bad. We are all here on journey, doing our own thing. Walk away and don’t interact with situations and people that you don’t want to, but try not to view them as horrible human beings despite the actions they’ve taken. They have their own business to attend to, as do you.
When we give up judgment we are set free in a way that makes it easier to see others and ourselves clearly. We can forgive ourselves for our foibles, change what we want to change, and have a great time with what we like about ourselves.
If you want to be a healer or a shaman, the first place to start is healing your own life, getting to know your shadow and your projections, taking a good laugh at yourself, and getting to work.
The Light Worker Trap—Every Failed Relationship is in Need of Deep Healing
Another common pitfall that comes up is that Empaths feel wrongness when a relationship comes to an end. A relationship, especially between healers, should always have a loving, connected outcome. This is patently false, as can be seen just looking at the state of the world, and looking at the drama that commonly comes between healers and shaman. Shaman are people. We all have our stuff to work on and our own journey. If we do that work, naturally some relationships will fall away. People don’t match anymore. This is all allowed. However, if you’re caught in the Light Worker Trap, you may believe that such close relationships cannot come to an end—they must be fixed, or one or the other is a bad person.
This is nonsense. In my own personal life I have had several friendships disintegrate right as I was struck psychic. These relationships were critical to my sense of support and well being, but the truth was the people I was connected to weren’t capable of reciprocating the support I needed. One person wasn’t interested in a life with a psychic, and the other person wasn’t really willing to do the personal work required. Neither person misses me at all, and I don’t miss them. I don’t hate them or think they are bad people—we just no longer matched for the life I was entering. I don’t send them love or good wishes, either. I’ve moved on, and so have they.
A few years ago one of my mentors did a destiny retrieval for me because I was caught up in a lifestyle that I didn’t really care for any longer, but couldn’t get out of. I was making myself sick as a way to escape from it. The requirement for this destiny retrieval to truly be installed was that I had to be willing to give up everything in my life that didn’t serve me, and I had to mean it.
Interestingly enough, several relationships went by the wayside, some in surprising and dramatic fashion, others quietly and almost without notice. My life changed dramatically for the better. But I had to let go and make room for what was best for me. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you’re a healer you have to maintain a good relationship with everyone. You don’t. Make room for what is best for you, and see what Spirit brings in next.