One of the most difficult challenges for any awakening intuitive is coming into a new relationship with our original family and old friends. Our original family system is incredibly powerful and pervasive, especially on the unconscious emotional level. Many people never successfully separate from their original family energy, but inherit sometimes generations-old family expectations and roles. Friendships among several people that have gone on for years can also take on this type of group energy.
It is a fallacy to speak of “The Family” as if the family were a person. If a person in the family tells you, “The family thinks this or that,” you know you’ve encountered a family member that is driven by group consciousness rather than her own. Group consciousness consists of several beliefs and thought forms shared by a group. If we do not stay aware and vigilant, these thought forms can take over our own personal consciousness.
It is very common for the family group consciousness to hold the belief that certain members of the family are responsible for certain roles. A typical gender role may be that women are responsible for the social and emotional well being of the family, and for holding the family connection together. When a new woman enters the extended family dynamic, and she doesn’t fulfill this role, resentment and dislike may grow and the members may not be completely conscious of why.
Usually each member in the family is responsible for certain behaviors. The father may be the stoic, responsible disciplinarian, the mother may be the nurturing caregiver, one child may be the hero, bringing home awards and achievements, another child may be the rebel, and another may be the emotional bedrock for the family.
In this case, each member of the family balances the family as a whole, but the individuals themselves are unbalanced. For the person who acts as the emotional support for the family, he may process all the emotional needs that the other members cannot do for themselves, leading him to become traumatized and even physically sickened by emotional energy from other individuals who have learned to pass their unwanted and unprocessed emotions on to him. In some cases this family member may be called the sensitive one, the hysterical one, or the over emotional one.
It is very common for intuitives to be the emotional support system for their family. When intuitives awaken, one of the first things they may have to do is move away from family dynamics for a while and sort out what is theirs and what is others’ energy. They must redefine for themselves what supports their clear intuition and well being and what does not. Usually, they must change their relationships and set different boundaries with family members and old friends, especially as they give up the belief systems of their friends and family.
When this happens, the entire energetic system of the family or friendship group can be upset. Misunderstanding and feelings of betrayal can surface, and conflicts may arise. The new intuitive is no longer fulfilling his family role, and this can feel incredibly threatening to the rest of the group. The rest of the family has to discover a new way of processing their own emotional energy, or find another conduit to do it for them. The new intuitive must stick to his integrity and move through this storm unwaveringly. Finding support from other intuitives and other awakening souls is critical for managing the emotional turmoil that can arise as relationships shift and change, and old belief systems about family and friendship are challenged from both within and without.
It is important for the awakening intuitive not to address the group consciousness (“the family” or “the college crowd”) or judge themselves from a group consciousness standpoint. Remember, group consciousness has no heart, and intuitives are learning to speak from the heart straight to another’s heart. Instead, speak to the individuals involved. If that particular individual is permanently stuck in group think, then that person may not be able to listen and will probably not be supportive. But, chances are the intuitive will be able to touch another’s heart and new healthy relationships will emerge. I have seen other intuitives reluctant to speak to their family members from the heart because they expect the typical family consciousness reaction. But, many times when they do so anyway, they are pleasantly surprised to discover the family member as an individual and as actually supportive.
It is a benefit to all members of the family for one member to wake up and be themselves, even if some will see no benefit. Breaking the bonds of group think and family roles now prevents us from passing on those same roles and expectations to our children. Some of my clients are afraid that they will have no family and will have no friends if they do this work of standing up for their emotional and psychic health. However, from what I’ve experienced, when the awakening soul is allowed to form relationships freed from group think, family expectations, and beliefs about friendship, healthier individual relationships naturally form, and then usually healthy community and family form next. This process can be lengthy and scary, but as an intuitive who has moved through the process, it is definitely worth all the effort.