It is very strange to me that August is already here, and ironic since at the end of the month I am hosting a workshop all about stepping into Timelessness. Time seems to have sped up for many of us with all our obligations and our busy lives. Stepping into Timelessness isn’t just useful for relieving ourselves from the busy-ness of life, it is also useful for stepping out of Drama.
We Empaths can get stirred up with our own internal Drama after we’ve made a decision, especially if the decision is a firm No to someone who is stuck in Drama themselves. I had the opportunity recently to work with a client who was prone to Drama, and then to see how stepping into Timelessness can stop the Drama right in Its tracks.
My client had been in a years-long friendship with another Empath who happened to be stuck in Victim. This person had managed to blow little innocent incidents into hurtful, unnecessary Dramas with various people in her life. After one incident too many involving my client’s spouse, my client and her spouse finally and firmly ended the relationship. Of course, her friend found her unreasonable and unforgiving, and since this friend was stuck in Victim, considered my client a Bully and attacked her verbally. All her own Shadow issues of jealousy and envy had been projected onto my client in one vicious last swoop. My client already knew these issues were in play, but had hoped her friend had managed to get control of it and would take responsibility. But this friend didn’t. It was easy to see that this friend was dangerously carrying around a metaphorical loaded shotgun, and was unconscious to the harm she did to others firing it off whenever her own stuff was triggered. My client was relieved to let the friendship end, and she was also surprised by how free she felt afterwards. (This is a typical feeling once we’ve given up a vampire relationship.)
Predictably the former friend wanted to repair the relationship, and she contacted my client once or twice. My client very wisely ignored her. She simply wasn’t interested anymore–her freedom, and the relief of friends around her was too valuable. (She didn’t realize how much discomfort this friend had been causing in other lives until they confided in her afterwards.)
Naturally the Victim friend pulled in a Rescuer who was identified with Rescuing women who had put themselves in dire straights. This Rescuer was doing his personal work so he could become an energyworker himself. However, like many people who feel called to the healing arts, he had to work on his tendency to Rescue, and on his identification with being a Light Worker. As many of you know from reading my blog and my books, shaman are not Light Workers. Shaman can help assist others in owning the projections of their Shadows so that they can create lives that they want instead of what they create out of their Shadows.
My client had the talent of being the social glue for people she loved, so excluding anyone from her life was very hard for her to do, which was of course why she allowed this former friendship to continue for so long in the first place. The former friend was missing out on community events my client hosted on a regular basis. The Rescuer saw this and wanted to help. He contacted my client and told her that this relationship was in need of deep healing, and if she was willing to do the work, then this former friend could be included once again. Luckily for my client she saw the Rescue right away and didn’t turn into a Bully and lambast him for interfering where he didn’t belong. She simply told him that No, she wasn’t interested, and in fact there were others that would be negatively affected too, and she didn’t want to lose their company either, so No. The Rescuer in this situation was very disappointed–he unconsciously thought to not only Rescue the former friend who held the Victim story, but to Rescue the friendship as well. He thought that of course if you are doing your personal work, all relationships could be healed. (This is a very common faulty belief.)
For my client she found the incident amusing at first, because she knew this man was working hard on his Rescuer tendency, but she had also taken on the Rescuer’s surprise and disappointment at her firm No. (Remember, if you are stuck in Rescuer, it’s hard to see others clearly–everyone is either a Victim or a Bully.) In her head she started defending herself and her position, she started going over what exactly had happened in the past to cause her to break off the relationship with the Victim, she started getting annoyed and angry at the Rescuer for breaking boundaries and approaching her when he didn’t even know her. In short, she spun out into her own internal Drama–internal because she was wise enough not to act on it, but she was suffering anyway. (If you are an Empath, you understand our tendency to slip into this type of suffering.)
The solution for her was to do a sandpainting and let Mother Earth transform it, and then she stepped into Timelessness. Sitting next to her sandpainting, a hummingbird came and hovered in front of her face for a few moments, reminding her to step outside of time, drink only from the deepest nectar of life, and remember that life is in these precious nows. Then the Drama was done, and she could laugh at the situation again. Every person has their Shadow to work on–she could go back to being compassionate to everyone involved, including herself, without having to get back into a literal relationship with anyone stuck in Drama. What a relief!
If you related to this story, and you would like to learn how to step into Timelessness, there is still time (haha!) to register for the Raven Portal Workshop taught by my mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife, Shanon in Portland from Friday evening August 24th through Sunday the 26th. Just contact me or visit the homepage of my website: www.elainelajoie.com