I’ve just posted a new ebook on my website in the shop called The Empath and the Hero-Fan Family System. I first published these essays in 2009. These essays have been revised and expanded. If you are an Empath and you’ve found yourself caught in confusing relationship patterns where everything seems normal, healthy and happy on the outside but on the inside you feel crazy, sick, tired, and confused, you may be dealing with unhealthy Heroes or unhealthy Fans. These essays cover what this type of family system looks like, how Emotionally Dissociated Hero behavior is reinforced by Fans.
Also included is a description of Secret Drama, a painful relationship dynamic between an Empath and a Hero in which the Empath keeps secrets for the Hero but then the Hero makes the Empath into a scapegoat for the entire Family so the Family can keep its illusion of health and happiness. Many people find my website because they have this painful relationship with a Hero. I map out why this relationship unfolds the way it does and how the Empath can extract herself and then heal using shamanic work.
I hope you find this new ebook helpful!
I can’t believe my life is actually being explained with your words! I have been reading books on narcissuses and victimology, psychology, psychiatry, behavior disorders, etc.etc… Nothing has hit on what’s gone on in my family like you’ve done in the first paragraph, jeez it’s been going on 6 years and I, almost destroyed. Got to get back to reading your stuff now and get your snook and get better, God bless you or whatever, whoever your name for your creator, higher power, is, blessing and happiness to you dear heart!
I am so glad the ebook is helpful! The most confusing environment for Empaths to live in is one where everyone lives by appearances and hides all the negative emotions. It’s like the Emperor’s new clothes in which only the Empath has the courage to say what is what. Many times we can doubt ourselves so much that we do not have the strength to voice what we see going on. In such cases we become psychic garbage pails–we take on all the negative emotional energy that everyone else is the family or group is trying to push away. I hope you find your way out soon.
Let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!