My Growing Intuition has made my friends less attractive

Have you ever had the experience of being with a group of people who all appeared to be enjoying themselves and having a good time, but at the same time you felt tension and unspoken words underneath the surface?

For intuitive people, such experiences can be disorienting and confusing. Intuitive people are usually also highly empathic. They can tell when someone is lying, and they also can feel the shift in mood even if no one else is acknowledging it in words.

Many intuitives when young speak about their experiences and then have them immediately discounted by adults who were very invested in making everything look nice on the surface. If this happened to you, and you believed these adults, it could be a long process to trust your intuitives hits.

When I began fully embracing my intuition as an adult, I found that I could no longer tolerate being close with certain people, but not only that, I no longer *wanted* to be close to them. This can be very hard to explain to others who do not value intuition, or who are so invested in not knowing what’s really going on they live in denial and stay on the surface.

Has this happened to you? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle it?


This entry was posted in Empathy, Relationships, Vibes and Hits. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to My Growing Intuition has made my friends less attractive

  1. Jenna says:

    I am definitely learning more and more about this as time goes on (I feel like my lessons have ever deepening layers!). I have accumulated years of training in ignoring the truth and looking at the superficial picture from my family. And I do find the dichotomy between what people and how they act/present themselves and with the energetic/intuitive truth to be quite disconcerting, particularly when the person seems so “nice” or that is the persona they have taken on. It is especially confusing to me when those around me play along with the persona – then I can be really challenged to stay true to my own knowing.

    In the past, on unfortunately more than one occasion, I KNEW that my boyfriend was cheating on me and when I confronted him with it, I was told I was crazy, irrational, ridiculous, jealous, prying, etc., etc. He even had the audacity to PITY me for being so misguided and confused. Wow – did that ever make me more confused. My intuition was so strong and so clear, and yet I felt brow beaten into not paying attention to it. Ouch. Good thing my intuition kept after me with the persistence of a hungry dog – I *finally* got to the truth of the situation and was able to leave the relationship. I am so grateful that my learning about this has progressed well past this place!

    Thanks Elaine!

    In peace,


  2. Elaine says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience, Jenna, about your boyfriend. It reminded me of when my husband and I first got together, and I would catch him at not being true to himself. In his original family he played the role of making everyone feel comfortable—he was definitely a combination of soother and funny guy. Nothing wrong with that, except that every once in a while he’d do it at the expense of himself in order to make me happy. I’d bust him every time! And, I’d be incredibly angry at him, because that sort of energy feels deceitful to me. Finally he gave up trying to please and trying to make things appear fine on the surface. Our relationship turned authentic and incredibly intimate in a big hurry.

    Now for fun he tries to put stories past me, seeing if he can fool my inner knowing. He hasn’t succeeded many times. I think this game between us (which has been going on for a few years) has been making my intuition much stronger, and making him a better and better diplomat in the best way. He certainly has the most honoring and honest people skills, especially during confrontations, that I have ever seen.

    So, hurray for staying true to your intuitive knowing!! Not only is it good for you, it’s good for your relationships, too!

  3. sami says:

    that happens to me all the time and it used to drive me crazy. i’d be on the streetcar or at school around people i did not know and feel so many strange vibes it would be disconcerting. now i realize it’s just the “hits” i get from people everywhere. i’ve also found that some of the people i’ve known for many years i don’t want to be around any longer. that was hard to deal with at first until i figured out that it was their energy i wanted to push away from me. i was one of those people who for many years just stuffed and denied my intuition. don’t do that anymore…it was making me physically ill. (pneumonia, bronchitis, asthma etc)so yeah, i definitely know how you feel. DON’T let it (or others) make you feel bad or guilty about it either.

    Shine on,

  4. Elaine says:

    Wow, Sami, I love that you are so aware of what stuffing your intuition can do to your body, and that your body is wise enough to give you the heads up with the physical symptoms. It’s interesting that the symptoms you mentioned are all respiratory; problems with the lungs can indicate grief. It makes sense that your body was “grieved” or giving you grief when you weren’t listening to your true self.

    congratulations on your strength and confidence in the real you!

    Do you still experience a lot of hits from people in crowds, and do those bother you at all anymore?


  5. Ann says:

    Hi Elaine!

    I just had an intuitive hit on this very topic earlier today. After reading Rose Rosetree’s Empowered by Empathy, all kinds of light bulbs were going on. I realized that I’ve spent a huge part of my life with my empathy turned on, in addition to being very intuitive and picking up on the repressed truths around me. I think I went through a time of looking at myself, my own ‘stuff’ – which was important to look at, but I actually think that at some points I had downloaded other people’s stuff and was carrying it around for them!

    This feels like it was so much the case at the job I left. I know that in addition to it just being not a great fit, my system was being overwhelmed by ‘channeling’ all the repressed feelings I was surrounded by. The further away I get from it, the more it actually shocks me! I feel dramatically different simply being out of that energetic situation.

    Thanks so much for creating a forum to discuss these topics!! It’s empowering to learn about intuition and empathy and to develop skills to protect myself and truly appreciate these gifts, not liabilities! I am thrilled to have the ability now to turn off my empathy…what a relief!



  6. Elaine says:

    Hi Ann,

    I know exactly what you mean—I tend to be in healer/process mode for others around me, too, and it was a great relief to learn how to turn it off.

    One of the people I have the hardest time with in turning it off is my husband. He tends to push uncomfortable feelings away, and so they come to my system for processing. We’re so connected that one time he got food poisoning, and then the next day (even though I didn’t eat at the same restaraunt) I started throwing up, too!

    So, we can absorb and process not just emotions, but physical symptoms and thought patterns, too. It’s a very interesting exercise to see what is really ours versus someone (or even a groups) else’s stuff.

    Thanks for sharing, Ann! I’m very excited about this new forum, too. Still trying to figure out how best to use it.

    lots of love,

  7. Jenna says:

    Hi Elaine,

    I’m realizing on a daily basis how much this same thing is true for me with my partner. Right now he is experiencing a lot of anger (which is a good thing), but I am picking it up in my dreams and it is coming out in my life. What do you do to “turn it off” with your husband?



  8. Administrator says:

    Hi Jenna,

    I think I’ll start a new topic for the reply to your question!!


  9. Ann says:

    Hi Elaine!

    The plot thickens on the processing of others’ energy front. I have had more realizations lately about the extent of this over the past few years for me. Wow! I was reading your latest article on emotionally dissassociated people, the achievement oriented types and a light bulb went off. Duh. No wonder life in this Ivy League small town has been challenging energetically for me! Sure, I’ve had my own healing to do, but good lord, the place is absolutely crawling with those types! I’m outnumbered by achievement-oriented disassociated folks! 🙂

    What a relief it is to make these connections!



  10. Administrator says:

    Hi Ann,

    Yes, dissociated people who are achievement oriented are incredibly hard to deal with. Because they have no access to their inner emotional signals, they have to go by a set of rules, and they cannot make true connections. The set of rules they choose is based on their peer group, and that becomes their reality.

    It’s a very common state to be in, especially in our society where achievement and competition is placed in such importance. The key out of this pattern is to reconnect to the heart. Unfortunately, for that to happen, most of these people have to go through a severe crisis that they cannot ignore. It’s best for empaths to understand this dynamic, and to take themselves out of harms way.

    There’s very little likelihood of an empath getting her needs met in such a relationship.


  11. wakingup says:

    I exeperience being around people who on the surface all seem fine but I pick up on problem areas for me in relation to them all the time. The more i feed my intuition the less I want to be around most people actually and I’m very social so it’s strange.

    Sometimes I’ll pick up on a funk around certain people and then eventually I’ll start witnessing abusive behaviors going on in the group. I won’t necessarily realize how much it’s affectinng me until I get to be alone again and realize that now I feel free and relieved.

    I’m an extrovert with a strong need to be alone regularly. That’s what I’m realizing about myself. I’m learning to honor that. I’m also learning to honor my need to stay away from many people who I once liked to be around. I do better when I’m around people whose energy and outlook more closely match my own and I’m changing!

    Waking up

  12. Administrator says:

    Hi Waking Up,

    That’s great that you are taking care of yourself and are being very conscious of the energetic and emotional atmosphere you are in. As intuitives, we definitely all need the downloading alone time to shake off a lot of this negative and foreign energy.

    The wonderful thing about insisting on being in a energetically clear environment is that life becomes so much easier and friendships and relationships also improve! The transition through to it can be very uncomfortable, but stick with it, it’s all worth it!!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.