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Category Archives: Empathy
Fan-Hero Family System Ebook Now Available
Hello Everyone! I’ve just posted a new ebook on my website in the shop called The Empath and the Hero-Fan Family System. I first published these essays in 2009. These essays have been revised and expanded. If you are an Empath and … Continue reading
The Dangers of the Pedestal
Hi Everyone! This week I’ve had two people ask me questions about relationship issues that all stemmed from a pattern of behavior that I like to call Putting Others on a Pedestal. In one case one person was put on the … Continue reading
Psychic Flus and Sandpaintings
Hi Everyone, I had the opportunity this week to help a friend with the psychic flu. She came down with cold symptoms at the same time my son did, however, her symptoms continued to spiral into a very bad flu. … Continue reading
Posted in Boundaries, Emotions, Empathy, Energy Healing, Relationships
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I’m Returning to Client Work
Hello Everyone! I hope summer fun is making its way towards you. I’ve had a very interesting six months reshaping my practice and diving into my personal work. I’ve just completed my second trip around the medicine wheel, and it’s … Continue reading
The Power of Story and Projection
Hi Everyone,
Fall has finally arrived here in Portland bringing with it an end to 80 degree days and sunshine. I so love this change in season! In the past several weeks I’ve noticed two topics come up with my clients repeatedly–identification with a Story, and Projection of the conclusions of that Story out onto others. So, I thought I would discuss this more in the Empath Telecall; the next one is this Friday at noon pacific time. These two topics of so important because we create our lives through our Stories and our Beliefs, and we have so much external reinforcement of our Stories and Beliefs that they begin to feel like facts rather than something that we have control over and can personally change.
From the shaman’s perspective, once we get to know our Story, we can change it and use a different, more empowering story, which manifests our lives in a better way for us. Some of these disempowering stories become so embedded in our system that we need help digging out those stories and their beliefs. But once we understand our stories and our patterned way of thinking about ourselves, we gain more control of our lives. Empaths in general have a typical group of stories that we like to tell ourselves. We tend to have great imaginations and live in fantasy and romatic story, we tend to need rescuing (which leads to problems with personal responsibility), or we tend to waste time rescuing others (the flip side of the Drama Triangle), we tend to be perfectionists which leads us to be painfully self-conscious, and we tend to have tragic stories that lead us to concentrate on the past sorrowfully instead of move forward into our creativity. As we become healthy, we can change these stories around and gain strength and wisdom from them instead.
Most of us have experienced traumas or unhappy experiences in our past that stuck with us for so long, that they repeat themselves in our current life. We tend to interpret our current experience through these past experiences, and draw similar conclusions. In psychology, this is called projection. From the shaman perspective, however, projection is also a energetic and vibrational experience as well, meaning that we will in the literal plane draw to us the players that we need to play out the roles in our particular story and make it very easy to project. If we have a pattern that plays out repeatedly, the shaman can help dismantle it, and teach the client how to recognize the pattern and the typical projection that comes with it. This is hard hard personal work because when each of us project unconsciously, it seems like the world is the way it is, rather than it originating from us–it is a blind spot for us, although it might be quite obvious what the blindspot is for others looking in! But from the shaman perspective, each of us is the source of our reality, and each of us is responsible for everything that we create.
This is both frightening and empowering, because it means that by changing our internal world, we can change our literal external world for the better. All we need to do is start with ourselves and our own innerworld. This is good news for the Empath who loves looking at the innerworld, but it is also a challenge. Some of our most powerful patterns come from our family system. We take on our role in the family and the belief system, and if we do not become conscious, that belief system can so run our lives that we do not have much choice in how our lives unfold. However, breaking out of a family belief system can be incredibly painful and confusing, depending on how unhealthy the belief system was for us, and how ingrained our family members will still be in holding it together. The pull from these types of patterns can literally feel like they have a life force all their own.
If you’d like to learn more, or share your personal experiences with these topics, please feel free to join me on Friday, or write to me here on my blog. Here’s to doing the personal work in order to live a happy and free life!
much love,
Elaine
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The Empath and Archetype
Hi Everyone,
I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful summer! In Portland we’re starting another thankfully short heatwave after a few weeks of cool days in the 70’s. I had an interesting synchronistic experience last week that I wanted to share with you. As most of you know, when synchronicity is in action, Spirit is in action–we’ve stepped out of linear time and into circular time. It’s a cool and magical experience. I had this plus the veil between waking time and dream time lift briefly to give me a glimpse into my own healing process. What magic, but whoa!
As all of you know I’ve been working on a series of essays to collect into a book for the past two years based on the healing journey of most Empaths. What I’ve concluded from working with clients and from my own personal healing work is that Archetypal forces shape our lives more than we might think. Our lives feel very personal to us (especially if we have the Archetype of Empath) but in the larger picture, we are living out similar archetypal patterns. So, my book and my Empath Telecall have been centered around these archetypal forces so we can understand what is happening to us and step out of archetypal forces, or at least use the best parts of the archetype for our benefit.
For the past three calls I have been pulling lessons out of my own personal story to illustrate the collective force of the Family, and how that force can be so strong we may not break free of it to lead the lives that we might choose for ourselves. I had been afraid that I might step too strongly into my own personal story when it came to describing the archetype of the Fan, because in my past people with the Fan archetype have irritated and disappointed me greatly. (The Fan is the archetype that is most concerned about the group and maintaining the group or family, even at the expense of the individuals involved.)
The night before I held my telecall I had a dream in which tornados were taking out the buildings of my college campus. I had looked behind me, and two tornados were tearing a building apart. As I turned my head to the right, three more tornados were taking out another building. Now I was terrified and afraid that I was going to be caught in the twisters and killed. I started to run. But, when I looked ahead of me, two more tornados were destroying yet another building. In that moment I understood that I was not going to survive this, and my fear went away. It was OK to let myself die.
I woke up feeling well rested, oddly enough, given the dream! Usually I do not know until the last minute who will be on these telecalls. As it turned out in this call all the participants had Fan mothers (including me.) The lecture that I had prepared was pertinent personally to each of them, and it made such a difference as to how they were viewing their relationships with their Fan mothers. In fact, the call helped me understand my own mother, and the Fans in my husband’s family better as well. Spirit brought the right participants, and my worries about becoming too personal were unfounded; after all, I was talking about the collective’s archetypal patterns.
The next day my husband and I were at the park with our toddler son. We were talking about the insights I had come to from giving my telecall, and how we could let the anger and guilt we still had at leaving his family system die. While we were happy that we had escaped the powerful group think so we could have the lives that we really wanted, there were still parts of us that cycled between guilt and anger at having done so. Of course, the remaining guilt and the anger are residues of the strength of influence the family group think had over us.
As we talked about this, on my right, just out of my arms reach, a dust devil stirred up. It swirled into a mini twister about a dozen feet tall, threw up bark chips in my hair, my husband’s hair, then moved past me to my son and threw chips into his hair, then it chased a toddler across the park before dissipating. We started laughing at this, given my dream of two days before. We were getting cleaned out to the very roots, and not only had I seen it in dream time, I had seen it in waking time, too. Progress in our healing made, with comfirmation from Spirit!
I love working with Spirit! Healing work is usually a mixture of hard work and joy at the freedom coming our way when we really step in to the path of power. But for me, those meetings of Spirit making the huge signs are the most rewarding. I hope this story helps you step in and claim those places where you are still giving your personal power away instead of using it for your own creativity and joy.
much love,
Elaine
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Posted in Boundaries, Creativity, Destiny Retrieval, Drama Triangle, Dreams, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Energy Healing, Generational Imprints, Guidance, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Relationships, Removing Obstacles, Soul Path/Purpose, synchronicity, Vibes and Hits
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New Essays Available
Hello Everyone! I hope you all are enjoying your summer. I am happy to say that I am feeling much much better, so much so that I’ve been able to return to writing, and to working one-on-one with clients on … Continue reading
Shamanic Work and Family System Reinforcement
Hello Everyone,
I just recently returned from working with Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii Energies up in Alberta, Canada. This was a great opportunity for me to revisit the South work of Shedding what no longer Serves, plus I had the chance to see Marv again. While I am recovering from my experiences of the Spring, I highly recommend Marv if you need energywork done. He certainly did some amazing work on me while I was there! His website is www.kimmapii.com/
Also, I just finished recording the Eighth Empath Telecall. In this call we talked about how our Family System keeps us stuck in old patterns and behaviors that might not be in our best interest, and how painful it can be when we stop colluding with our family of origin. The next call we’ll talk more about how shamanic work can undo family belief systems that began generations ago that still keep us bound in the present. In both calls I use my personal experiences and experiences with clients. If you are interested in listening, go to here
My practice is full, but I hope to take more clients soon.
Hi Everyone,
As some of you already know, I’ve had to limit my practice because I was ill for all of April and most of May. Last year these health problems were directly related to working with heavy duty client energy. But this year I discovered that these new health problems were more related to stepping into what the shaman calls destiny, which usually involves deathwork as we step into change. So, until I figure out this next step in my personal work, I am accepting only those clients who have worked with me in the past or whom I’ve worked with on my Empath Teleconference Call. I hope towards the end of the year to work with more of you, especially those of you who have requested intuitive readings.
In the meantime, please use my site as a resource, and visit my links page to look for other coaches and shaman. I highly recommend Greta Holmes, Hilda Porro, Marv Harwood, Irina Dittert, and Steven Encinas plus the others listed on my site are also very very good. These are the people who work on me, so I know how gifted and connected to Spirit they are.
There are now 7 audio conference calls and 11 essays for purchase on the website. If you found my website because you were dealing with someone who is an Emotionally Dissociated Hero, and you found the free essay helpful, you’ll find many of these essays and audios helpful, too. Just go to workshops, click on the Empath Teleconference Call, and there will be a listing of what is now available. I am also working on getting transcripts of the calls, since many people prefer reading those rather than listening. I had hoped to have all the essays posted, but I have not had the chance to concentrate on writing. I plan on having everything up by the end of the summer, and to have hardcopies available for purchase on amazon soon after that.
In the meantime, I am travelling to Canada to study the Medicine Wheel with Marv Harwood in June. This will be my second time through the wheel, and I am both looking forward to it, and also wondering how it will be this time around. The medicine wheel is a process of transformation, so it is fitting to spend the year working through the wheel as I come to terms with what I am becoming as far as that destiny goes. 😉
Many of you have sent me questions which I’ll soon be able to answer here on the blog. Have a wonderful summer, and I will appear here again very soon!
much love,
Elaine