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Category Archives: Relationships
The Empath and Archetype
Hi Everyone,
I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful summer! In Portland we’re starting another thankfully short heatwave after a few weeks of cool days in the 70’s. I had an interesting synchronistic experience last week that I wanted to share with you. As most of you know, when synchronicity is in action, Spirit is in action–we’ve stepped out of linear time and into circular time. It’s a cool and magical experience. I had this plus the veil between waking time and dream time lift briefly to give me a glimpse into my own healing process. What magic, but whoa!
As all of you know I’ve been working on a series of essays to collect into a book for the past two years based on the healing journey of most Empaths. What I’ve concluded from working with clients and from my own personal healing work is that Archetypal forces shape our lives more than we might think. Our lives feel very personal to us (especially if we have the Archetype of Empath) but in the larger picture, we are living out similar archetypal patterns. So, my book and my Empath Telecall have been centered around these archetypal forces so we can understand what is happening to us and step out of archetypal forces, or at least use the best parts of the archetype for our benefit.
For the past three calls I have been pulling lessons out of my own personal story to illustrate the collective force of the Family, and how that force can be so strong we may not break free of it to lead the lives that we might choose for ourselves. I had been afraid that I might step too strongly into my own personal story when it came to describing the archetype of the Fan, because in my past people with the Fan archetype have irritated and disappointed me greatly. (The Fan is the archetype that is most concerned about the group and maintaining the group or family, even at the expense of the individuals involved.)
The night before I held my telecall I had a dream in which tornados were taking out the buildings of my college campus. I had looked behind me, and two tornados were tearing a building apart. As I turned my head to the right, three more tornados were taking out another building. Now I was terrified and afraid that I was going to be caught in the twisters and killed. I started to run. But, when I looked ahead of me, two more tornados were destroying yet another building. In that moment I understood that I was not going to survive this, and my fear went away. It was OK to let myself die.
I woke up feeling well rested, oddly enough, given the dream! Usually I do not know until the last minute who will be on these telecalls. As it turned out in this call all the participants had Fan mothers (including me.) The lecture that I had prepared was pertinent personally to each of them, and it made such a difference as to how they were viewing their relationships with their Fan mothers. In fact, the call helped me understand my own mother, and the Fans in my husband’s family better as well. Spirit brought the right participants, and my worries about becoming too personal were unfounded; after all, I was talking about the collective’s archetypal patterns.
The next day my husband and I were at the park with our toddler son. We were talking about the insights I had come to from giving my telecall, and how we could let the anger and guilt we still had at leaving his family system die. While we were happy that we had escaped the powerful group think so we could have the lives that we really wanted, there were still parts of us that cycled between guilt and anger at having done so. Of course, the remaining guilt and the anger are residues of the strength of influence the family group think had over us.
As we talked about this, on my right, just out of my arms reach, a dust devil stirred up. It swirled into a mini twister about a dozen feet tall, threw up bark chips in my hair, my husband’s hair, then moved past me to my son and threw chips into his hair, then it chased a toddler across the park before dissipating. We started laughing at this, given my dream of two days before. We were getting cleaned out to the very roots, and not only had I seen it in dream time, I had seen it in waking time, too. Progress in our healing made, with comfirmation from Spirit!
I love working with Spirit! Healing work is usually a mixture of hard work and joy at the freedom coming our way when we really step in to the path of power. But for me, those meetings of Spirit making the huge signs are the most rewarding. I hope this story helps you step in and claim those places where you are still giving your personal power away instead of using it for your own creativity and joy.
much love,
Elaine
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Posted in Boundaries, Creativity, Destiny Retrieval, Drama Triangle, Dreams, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Energy Healing, Generational Imprints, Guidance, Life Transition, Manifestation, Myth and Archetype, Relationships, Removing Obstacles, Soul Path/Purpose, synchronicity, Vibes and Hits
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New Essays Available
Hello Everyone! I hope you all are enjoying your summer. I am happy to say that I am feeling much much better, so much so that I’ve been able to return to writing, and to working one-on-one with clients on … Continue reading
Shamanic Work and Family System Reinforcement
Hello Everyone,
I just recently returned from working with Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii Energies up in Alberta, Canada. This was a great opportunity for me to revisit the South work of Shedding what no longer Serves, plus I had the chance to see Marv again. While I am recovering from my experiences of the Spring, I highly recommend Marv if you need energywork done. He certainly did some amazing work on me while I was there! His website is www.kimmapii.com/
Also, I just finished recording the Eighth Empath Telecall. In this call we talked about how our Family System keeps us stuck in old patterns and behaviors that might not be in our best interest, and how painful it can be when we stop colluding with our family of origin. The next call we’ll talk more about how shamanic work can undo family belief systems that began generations ago that still keep us bound in the present. In both calls I use my personal experiences and experiences with clients. If you are interested in listening, go to here
E-Essays now Available
Hi everyone!
Well, at the urging of some of my clients, I’ve made some of my essays that will appear in my book available for purchase ahead of time. I hope to have the book published as a softcover book by the end of the year, but I’ve said that before. So, here’s the first set of 6 essays. Just visit my website here
http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/EmpathyandRelationshipsBook.htm
Let me know what you think, and I hope they are helpful!
much love,
Elaine
Posted in Creativity, Drama Triangle, Empathy, Relationships
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Dealing with Attack Energy
Hello everyone!
I had a question arrive in my email box about dealing with the unspoken messages from someone else. In this case, my client is receiving “attack” vibes. What do we do when those are unspoken vibes and not acted upon by the other person? This is an important question for Empaths because we tend to respond to the unspoken and the hidden rather than what is actually going on literally. Here is her question:
“I get a weird vibe from one of the girls at our annual gathering. It’s like she wants to attack me or I annoy her or it’s like she jealous and I get this feeling of her wanting to put me in my place. Anytime I’m being funny or entertaining I can feel her energy. At times like these it would be nice to be normal and just not notice it and go on with my life like the others around me! I was super aware of her energy and not sure how to handle it. My usual method would be to shrink back and shut down or to try to please her which feels awful and weak. So as I was trying to figure out how to handle this these options came to mind. Do I…
a. understand that she is just injured somewhere in this area and is acting out of pain and needs healing and understanding. Try to send her love, make her feel more comfortable and try to help her. (feel like I’ve been burned by this approach in the past) b. Put up the strongest boundaries I can muster and try my best to go on with my life ignoring her. (this doesn’t really work for me) c. Think “oh this is interesting Sally is having these feelings hmm. I wonder what is going on with her?” and then let the energy go through me so to speak understanding that this is her stuff I DON’T have to own it and it doesn’t have to have power over me. Just let it be and bring the focus back on myself my body, what I’m seeing around me, what I’m feeling sensing etc. (This seemed to work pretty good!)
I do know the more I was afraid of her reaction the worse things seemed to get. The fear fueled it so to speak. Honestly acknowledging to myself, however, what I was sensing from her and then not taking responsibility for it and not giving these feelings power over me seemed to work well.”
OK, to answer this question, it’s helpful to look at it from the Drama Triangle perspective. Option a. operates from the Role of Rescuer. This person’s anger and annoyance isn’t really any of our business to fix. As Empaths we tend to try to fix things to make ourselves feel better. It can backfire, especially since the other person could easily fall into the Bully role if we step into the Rescuer role. Sure, she may be wounded or whatever, but it is not our business.
Option b. is somewhat doable and in other ways not doable. As Empaths we cannot ignore this extra information, especially when it is attack being directed at us. Trying to resist it in this way can be exhausting. At the same time, it is important to realize that hanging out in this type of vibration is also exhausting, and that there will be a cost later. This person is sending out psychic attack, and that does have an effect on our system.
Option c is great! It acknowledges what is going on. The attack vibes are real. It puts the responsibility on the attacker, and it also keeps us out of both the Victim and the Rescuer roles. (and bully role, too!) This identifying the problem, seeing who is responsible, and then moving out of the way of the vibration is the “aikido” of energetic protection. At the same time, the vibration in the room is still not good for us, and we should understand that our limits with such a person are going to be lower than other non-Empaths.
The description of coming back into the body and noticing what is literally going on is what is called moving into the perceptual state of the literal (serpent in shamanic terms) Doing so shuts off momentarily the perceptions of the hidden (jaguar) from which most Empaths live. But it is approaching the whole issue with non-personal awareness (the perceptual state of the soul) that allows us to be in such situations without having to engage them or get caught in someone elses drama.
The last bit of observation–that the fear tends to exacerbate the psychic attack–is my client moving into the Victim mode, which invites more attack from the Bully, even though no conscious drama is going on!!! This is the power of the drama triangle! The best protection from these situations is to not get caught in the other person’s Drama–don’t pick up whatever role they want you to play. And move out of the way. Sometimes we DO need to move physically out of the way as well, but do so without a big story of Drama around it.
With just an annual gathering of a few days, I bet my client can handle it and still enjoying the rest of the people there. If this was a daily occurance, then something would need to change for my client’s emotional health.
Let me know if you have more questions!!
much love,
Elaine
Posted in Boundaries, Drama Triangle, Emotions, Empathy, Energetic Contracts, Relationships
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Support for the Empath
Hi Everyone!
I am happy to annouce that I have been able to record the Empath Telecall for those of you who are looking for support and insight into your intuitive gifts. Right now there are two calls available for download, and the live calls are scheduled for the 1st and 3rd Fridays of the month. Our next call is this Friday. Please let me know if you’d like to join us. Right now we’ve discussed how the Empath deals with input from others, basic protections, and we’ve just begun talking about the Drama Triangle and the Empath. If you’d like to learn more, just go to my website and click workshops. It’s the first workshop listed.
Here’s to enjoying our Empathy and our intuitive gifts!
Elaine
Who controls your consciousness?
Hi Everyone,
Wow! If you are an Empath, it’s hard not to absorb the doom and gloom mentality of the group right now (or consensual reality, as shaman’s like to call it) It is precisely at times like these that we must remember that we are the authors of our own stories. We are in charge of creating our lives. That is, unless we give our power over to others, without even realizing that that is what we are doing.
If you are scared and fearful right now, make sure that you aren’t tapped in to the group consciousness. Take back your power. You may have to turn off the news or stop reading the paper for the next few months. Instead, look at what you are creating in your life right now, look at what you have control over right now. This is your focus–the rest of it really doesn’t matter.
But, is there anything that needs to change in your life? Now is the best time to make those changes. Is there anything out of alignment with your personal essence, your soul? Now is the time to start the transition. It’s hard, because change always brings up fear, but moving forward now is so important.
Many of my clients and friends are going through big shifts right now that they had put off for a few years. None of us can get way with putting off our work, including the country as a whole, apparently! But our focus needs to be more local.
If you are in a tough spot, with a job loss, or a relationship on the brink, it is the perfect time to remember your creative manifestation skills. It is the perfect time to take this time as an opportunity to connect back to the heart, the soul, and make those changes now.
I have been filled with fear over the past few months–I’ve been absorbing the group think and also my beliefs about the pachakuti (2012) have been triggered. It’s been the perfect time for me to look at my own power, and what I want to create. Looking at my life now, I’ve seen that I’ve done the work in my relationships and in my practice. Everything is in pretty good alignment. There’s no reason that I won’t be well supported like I always have because I’ve gotten those kinks out of the way. Of course, there’s no guarantee of this, but life is a risky business–but this was true before the financial crisis! Taking stock at where I am, what I want to create in my life, I see all is well, and much of the fear subsides. That is, until I look at the paper again!
So make this a practice–Look to your own power when frightened, make sure you’re in charge of your consciousness, regroup, reconnect to your soul, and go back to living your life supported by the Great Spirit.
much love!
Elaine
Posted in Boundaries, Emotions, Empathy, Guidance, Manifestation, Relationships, Soul Path/Purpose
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Empath Teleclass Begins Friday
Posted in Creativity, Emotions, Empathy, Guidance, Relationships, Soul Path/Purpose
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Happy New Year!
Hello Everyone! I’m wishing you a very prosperous and joyful 2009!! I am just returning to work after a three month long sabbatical, during which I have had time to think about changes to my practice. The most major change … Continue reading
Posted in Creativity, Empathy, Energy Healing, Manifestation, Relationships
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October Newsletter Available
Hello Everyone, My October newsletter is now available at http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/October2008Newsletter.htm Enjoy!! Elaine
Posted in Emotions, Empathy, Life Transition, Manifestation, Relationships
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